I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
