that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize