we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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