Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Fuck appropriateness.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
