also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
As shirtless as possible
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize