Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
