his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
