Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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