I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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