..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
