Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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