Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's never too late to be topless.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
