Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
