I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Randomize
