Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
