Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize