sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
