Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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