I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
