things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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