I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
