my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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