and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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