I don't usually arrange sex via text message
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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