How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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