Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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