In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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