Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
