Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
