I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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