That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
