Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
