I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
