i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
