i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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