I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
