It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I still have a little drunk in my system
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
