this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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