You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
bring money and cleavage
Actions speak louder than pants.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
