Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Randomize
