Soap is not a condiment
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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