Rock
Scissors
Fuck
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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