Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
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