my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
