Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
