lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
