She is in my trunk
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think a kid would responsible me up
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
