For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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