Plan B is the new Plan A
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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