final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
