Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Randomize
