**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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