My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
