You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
