We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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