all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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