David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
