so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
