guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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