I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
There's even glitter on my cock...
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