I got chris browned last night
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
