I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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