I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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