I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize