Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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