So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
